Fears
by Sahar Scarlet
Summary: Shizuo encounters Izaya at the dentist. What will he do once he finds out Izaya is afraid of the dentist? Yaoi, Shizaya. Multi-chapter. (sorry for the crap summary).
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my first multi-capter story! I hope you like it!**

**So i got some reviews about how it was hard to read because of no paragraph breaks and i'm so sorry! I typed it all on my phone and uploaded in a rush, i had no idea how it looked. I hope this is better!**

I checked my wrist-watch for the 20th time and like it said 30 seconds ago it was 10.15am. I paced outside the clinical center. 15 minutes, 15 more minutes and I will have to go into that overly white room. Pain shot through my mouth again. I brought a hand up to my cheek, which was starting to swell a little. I couldn't believe it! A cavity! Me! I take care of my teeth and I'm a healthy eater! How could this happen to me?! One of the reasons I avoid sweets is so I don't end up in situations like these! And yet, here I am, awaiting my doom in front of the dentist.

I didn't want to go in, the fresh air was keeping me calm. I took another look at my watch 10.20. Just 10 more minutes. I started biting my nails. I took a deep breath. It was just the dentist, nothing to be afraid of, go in, get the treatment and leave. That's all. It was simple. That's what my mind was telling me. My rational side emphasized that there was no danger here, nothing to be afraid of, but every other instinct in my body was telling me to run. Run away as fast as I could. I argued with myself for the hundredth time. I should just leave, my tooth doesn't hurt that much. I felt a sharp sting in my mouth causing me to raise my hand to my cheek once again. Ok, it hurt. It hurt a lot. It was a constant battle of whether I should leave or get my tooth treated. Rationality against instinct.

I glanced at my watch once again. 10.25. 5 more minutes. I imagined myself walking into the waiting room, informing the secretary of my arrival then walking down that long corridor, into the room with the doctor with a drill in one hand and several tools in the other. I stopped my pacing and froze. The image seared into my brain. The doctor was smiling sadistically and in that second, in great rarity, I chose instinct over rationality and ran. There was no way I would walk willingly into a room with some insane doctor and give them free reign over my mouth, the thing that allowed me to be sarcastic, witty and as annoying as I desired.

In all my panic I didn't see where I was going and bumped into someone. The person growled. "Oh sorr-" I started as I raised my head only to see none other than Shizu-chan. "Shizu-chan." I backed away, again, following instinct, he didn't look happy. "Izaaaayaaaa-kuuuuun!" He sang as he pulled off his shades and pocketed them. "Ahh gomen neh Shizu-chan, I guess I didn't see you." I mentally punched myself. When would I ever apologise to that brute! He raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Staring at me intently, I tried to hide the fact that he was making me feel uncomfortable. He glanced at the clinical center, then back at me. Oh no. There's no way right? A brute like Shizu-chan couldn't grasp the situation with so little information... Could he?

Well if he did, he didn't say anything. Instead he posed the same question he always does. "Izaaayaaa why are you in Ikebukuro? Didn't I tell you-" I was so sick of hearing the same thing over and over I couldn't stop myself from interrupting. "I'm here for a dentist appointment." What?! Why would I tell him that?! He stopped trying to pull out the stop sign from the ground. "What?" He asked blinking a few times. I sighed and repeated myself. "I'm here for a dentist appointment."

Shizuo walked towards me, he never seemed to have any sense of personal space. The amount of times we had stared each other down, only inches apart, could rival the amount of times we actually fight. He examined me. I stayed still, again hiding the fact that he was making me extremely uncomfortable. "Your cheek does look swollen." I pouted. It really was getting worse.

"Well?" He asked staring into my eyes. I hated when he did this. It was some sort of trick of his that prevented me from lying. "Well what?" I avoided his gaze. "Why aren't you going inside?" I clenched my fists. No way I was going to let Heiwajima Shizou find out about my fear. "It's not time for my appointment yet." I managed to mumble out. I was still avoiding his gaze, my head turned to the right. I could feel his eyes on me. He moved his head so he was facing me. He looked into my eyes and brought them back so I was looking at him straight on.

"When's your appointment?" Damn it, damn it, damn it. I couldn't lie when he looked at me like that! Why did he even care anyway?! "10.30." I answered. He grabbed my arm and checked the time using my watch. "You're late!" He yelled. He grabbed my arm and dragged me back towards the dentist. Great, just when I managed to escape. What a sight. Heiwajima shizou dragging me to the one place I feared in this world. I would have laughed if I weren't so afraid.

"Ahh Shizu-chan let go, it doesn't hurt that much, I think I'm just going to wait for a natural recovery. I'm not going to waste my money." Shizuo miraculously stopped. He turned to me, a smirk on his face. "I knew it." Damn it. He figured it out. Was I too obvious? "You're scared of the dentist." I thought he was going to erupt into laughter, but he remained serious. "What? No of course not. There's nothing to be scared about." What a horrible lie. Even I didn't believe it. He frowned. Once again he started dragging me towards the dentist. "Come on." He said. I pulled back. He already knew I was scared so what was the point in hiding it. "No! I don't want to!" I tried to pull my arm away. Once again he turned to me. "Izaya, it's just going to get worse, get it over and done with now, and you can go back to enjoying whatever it is you do."

Why was he trying to help me? Why was he being so kind? Why did one tooth cause so many problems for me? "Why are you trying to help me Shizu-chan?" I muttered. I wanted to know, but I was afraid of the answer. It wouldn't be something like "to get you out of Ikebukuro faster" or something like that... Would it? "Because, I know how it feels. I know how it feels to go through something alone - to face your fear alone - it's the scariest thing ever. Every instinct will tell you to run away, even if in your mind you know you shouldn't. So as a once in a lifetime favor, I'm willing to help you get through this."

I froze, how did he know? He explained everything that I had felt, everything I went through. Was he talking about his strength? About his fear of losing control? For the first time in my life I was speechless. I had no idea how to react, what to say. He, once again, pulled me towards the dentist. I followed behind him. He never let go of my arm.

Before I knew it, I was standing behind Shizuo at the front desk. He still held my arm. "We have an appointment for Orihara Izaya at 10.30." Shizuo said to the receptionist. "Yes sure, just take a seat and the doctor will be with you in a minute."

"Thanks." Shizou replied. He led me to one of the seats, finally letting go of my arm once I was seated. This wasn't as bad as I thought. It was warm in here. The receptionist was nice enough, there was a small TV playing a cooking show. This was good. Then a noise filled the room, one I instantly recognised as the drill that the dentist sticks in your mouth. I could feel my heart beating hard. My hands were starting to sweat. I wiped my palms on my pants. I started to shake. I felt like crying, throwing up and screaming all at the same time. The sound echoed through my head. My shaking grew and I mentally cursed myself for being so weak.

I turned to Shizuo. He was watching the TV, but must have felt my eyes on him because he turned to look at me. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because in an instant he was kneeling in front of me, and looking into my eyes. Both his hands were on top of mine. "Izaya breath. Come on, in through the nose out through the mouth." I did as he told me. He rubbed soothing circles into my hands with his thumbs. "It's ok, there's nothing here that can hurt you. Just breathe."

The noise stopped and I could calm down. I could feel my heart beat slowing to a normal pace, and my shaking stabled. Shizuo didn't move though and I'm glad he didn't, as the whirl of the drill started up again. I clenched my fists and tensed. That's where I was heading, into that room. I felt like I couldn't breath. I was gasping for air. I started to feel dizzy. My head swayed a little. I didn't want to go in there. I just wanted to leave. I wanted to get out of this place, back to my apartment, back to my wonderful computer and swivel chair.

"Izaya!" Shizuo's voice snapped me out of my trance. "Listen to me, I want you to match your breathing to mine. Come on. Copy me." His voice was calm and confident. He started breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. I followed his lead, and eventually I was able to match his pace. I concentrated on him and nothing else. He was still rubbing circles into my hands. "There, feel better?" I nodded wearily.

If this is how I was in the waiting room, how would I cope with the actual treatment. I tried not to think about it too much. Shizuo remained kneeling in front of me for a while; searching my eyes for something, probably fear. When he convinced himself I was fine, he took his seat, however he kept an eye on me, continually glancing at me. Normally it would've pissed me off. But in this instance it sort of felt like having a bodyguard, it made me feel safe.

Finally the dentist walked out. "Orihara Izaya?" This was it. Time to bite the bullet. I stood up, Shizuo stood too. This surprised me. "You're coming too?" He smiled. "I told you I would help you face this, of course I'm coming." He paused. "Unless you don't want me to." I shook my head. Don't want him to? He's got to be kidding! Of course I wanted him to! I actually don't think I've been more relieved in my life. Knowing that he was coming with me gave me hope. "No, you can come if you want." I tried to sound casual. He shouldn't know how much I need him right now. He merely nodded and followed behind me.

The walk down the hallway felt long and narrow. I felt like some pirate walking towards my death off a plank and couldn't turn back because a bunch of other pirates would kill me, or in this case Shizu-chan. I knew Shizu-chan wasn't the bad guy in this case, but he was preventing me from my escape, no matter what his motives really were.

Finally I arrived at the treatment room. I stopped at the door. There she was, the sadistic doctor with a drill. "Come on in darling." Her voice weirdly soothed me. Some part of me was happy that she seemed like a kind lady, but another part of me told me that the nicest adults were the ones with the most to hide. I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Shizuo. He gently pushed me forward, giving the push I needed. _Needed_, not _wanted_. "Just lie down on the chair for me Orihara-San." I did (reluctantly) as she asked and sat on the pale blue coloured chair, leaning my head on the headrest. "My name is Namie." Namie. The same name as my secretary, who hates my guts... And wants me dead. Great. That doesn't scare the shit out of me. That's got to be a sign right? To get out of this place. It couldn't be a coincidence. Yea it definitely was a sign. I sat up. "You know what Sensei, it really doesn't hurt that much, I don't want to waste your time. So ill just leave now."

I headed towards the door, but halfway there Shizuo once again grabbed my arm. "Iza-" I cut him off. "Let go of me." He didn't move. "Please let go Shizu-chan." I guess using manners on him for the first time didn't shock him into letting go as I had intended, instead he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room, closing the door behind him. "You're so close. Why are you giving up so easily?!" Was he angry? Yea, he was. He must be pissed off that he had to help me through the mess in the waiting room just so I could run away.

He looked into my eyes. Damn it, not this again. I inched backwards. "It's impossible Shizu-chan, I can't do it." His hands came down on my shoulders. He gently massaged them. "Izaya, look into my eyes." Once I did he continued. "You were fine, I was watching. Something triggered your reaction, just tell me what it was and we can work through it." No. I didn't want to tell him. What was I supposed to say? I left because the doctor has the same name as my secretary who hates me, but there is no relation between the two of them. Those eyes where begging for an answer. I bit my bottom lip to keep from talking. "Izaya, please." Damn it. Why does his 'please' have so much more of an affect than mine did. "Namie is the name of my secretary who hates me, and tries to poison me on a daily basis." Shizuo looked shocked for a second, he was probably not expecting such a stupid childish answer. "The one with the long brown hair?" I nodded. "Why don't you just fire her?" The atmosphere changed. Instead of the tense depressing situation I was in, it felt light and humorous. I smiled. "Well, Shizu-chan, she's a very amusing human, also she is extremely fun to tease." Shizuo gave me a look, disgust? No... It was closer to… jealousy?

"Wait! Shizu-chan! That's not the problem here!" My voice strained and I sounded desperate. How could the brute make me forget all that fear in a matter of seconds? "Haha sorry." His expression changed and now I could tell he was serious. "Izaya, Namie is a very common name, it was this year's most popular female name for babies." I sniffed. I sniffed? Damn it, I really was acting like a child, but Shizuo's words were once again calming me. He smiled, once he realised I had relaxed. "We good?" I nodded. "Ok let's go."

He opened the door and apologised to Namie for me. I slowly made my way back to the execution chair. Once I had lied down I heard a thud next to me. Shizuo had brought his chair and placed it next to me. "Okay, Orihara-San, just put these on for me." Namie handed me a pair of sunglasses, I put them on as she turned around to gather her equipment. I felt Shizuo's hand in mine. He leaned down until his mouth was near my ear. He whispered into my ear. His breath tingled, but at the same time felt warm, and almost made me shiver in pleasure. "Just squeeze my hand if you feel scared or uncomfortable." I was glad he whispered. I didn't want Namie to know about my fear, she had enough power over me. Before I could reply though, Namie turned around and said, "Open up darling." I opened my mouth and shut my eyes. I'd rather not see what kind of things she was shoving into my mouth.

I squeezed Shizuo's hand, harder and harder. I was following everything that Namie was doing, I knew exactly what tool she was using and where and I had never been more scared in my life. I squeezed Shizuo's hand even harder. He must have noticed that I was panicking because a second later his breath was on my ear again. "Concentrate on my voice Izaya, forget everything else, block it all out."

I stopped picturing everything Namie was doing and instead concentrated on Shizuo's voice, I couldn't really hear anything over the suction of the tube, but I could feel his breath. I concentrated on the feeling of his hand in mine, he had, I just realised, been rubbing soothing circles into my hand the whole time. I focused on those circles, the way they massaged the back of my hand, eventually I loosened my grip, but he didn't stop whispering to me and didn't remove his hand.

"Okay sweetie, you can sit up, just rinse your mouth with the water there and you can go." I sat up in a daze. I rinsed with the water and spat it into the sink. It was over?

I followed Shizuo out of the building. Once we were out he turned to me. "How do you feel?" A wide grin was plastered on his face. "I- I... I did it?" Shizuo's grin grew wider. "You did it!" Then it hit me. I did it. I faced my fear. I got through it! It didn't hurt at all and my tooth felt so much better! Joy overcame me as I leaped into Shizuo's arms, I had my arms around his neck. "I did it!" I laughed victoriously. He brought his hands around my back. "Ah yea." The full impact of what I had just done hit me. Shit shit shit shit! Did I just hug Shizuo?! I let go and backed away. "Sorry." I mumbled, directing my gaze to the floor. I glanced up, daring to take a peek at him. He looked a little angry, but mostly he seemed indifferent. "Well, see ya izaya." He turned around and raised a hand as a good bye. "Wait!" I yelled following him.

**Shizuo's p.o.v**

Izaya, let go of me, backed away and mumbled "sorry." I was upset at the loss of warmth. It was the first time we had hugged. Why couldn't that flea get lost in the moment? I decided I should leave before I did something stupid. "Well see ya, izaya." I walked away. "Wait!" Izaya followed closely behind me. "How much do you want?" He asked. I stopped walking and turned around. "What are you talking about?" He put his hands in his fur jacket's pockets. "$1000, $2000?" Oh that's what he meant.

"Just forget it, I told you, it was a favour. Besides you know how I feel about your money." Izaya frowned. I had told him that his money was not earned honestly and I would never use it. "You know it's not like your job is that much better." I let out a growl. "I'm a debt collector!" How could he imply that my job was a bad as his! Izaya laughed. "I'm sorry to break it to you Shizu-chan, but lifting people into the air and shaking them out for money is not something a normal debt collector would do." I clenched my fists. Damn it this guy pissed me off! "I'm a professional debt collector." I tried to say calmly.

He glared at me. Damn he was cute when he did that. Yes cute. I used to deny it but realised there was no point in lying to myself. I had a crush on Orihara Izaya. I'm still trying to pinpoint the exact moment hatred turned into love. I guess it happened gradually. Probably why I wasn't able to stop it before it was too late and now I'm stuck loving this asshole. He still irritated me; there were still times that I wanted to crash his skull into a wall. However, I found that I enjoyed his sarcasm, I liked to watch him jump around, full of life and energy and I enjoyed the time we spent together, which, unfortunately, wasn't very long.

"We're getting no where like this Shizu-chan." Only then did I realise I was staring. "How about a trade?" He questioned. I sighed. "I told you Izaya, I don't want anything, I know you probably hated the whole experience, so lets forget it ever happened and don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He looked at me skeptically. He didn't believe me? Well that hurt. "I loathe owing people, you can say I don't owe you anything, but I'll feel like I do and I hate that feeling." I groaned mentally, why did I have to fall in love with such a difficult person. "Fine. What do you suggest?" Izaya grinned. That wasn't a good sign. "I'll help you face your fear."

My fear? I thought about what my fear would be and froze when I realised. My fear would definitely be confessing to Izaya. No that wasn't quite right... My fear was his reaction to my confession. There was a 9.9/10 chance that he would stab me and a 0.1 chance that he would reject me brutally. So really there was no way it could end well.

I smiled. "Haha you really think I have a fear! Don't make me laugh Izaya. You and I both know I have nothing to fear." I lied quiet well considering the fact I hardly ever lie. Izaya frowned once again. "Oh come on, I want to know, it's no use lying to me, I do it as a profession and I know when someone is lying. So tell me, what is Heiwajima Shizu-chan afraid of?" Really? Even when using my full name he adds the "chan" at the end. He circled around me, that smirk plastered across his face. I followed him with my eyes. "What is it I wonder~ heights maybe?" I pulled out a cigarette and brought it to my lips. "Water?" He continued, he then paused and stepped closer to me, directed his chin upwards so his lips were just below my ear. "Manslaughter?" He whispered, humor filling his voice.

That's it. I snapped. I eyed a vending machine a few steps away and made my way towards it. "I liked you a lot better when you were fearing for your life, lets bring back that Izaya, shall we." Izaya backtracked my objective and appeared in front of the vending machine. He had a switchblade in his hand. "Shizu-chan just calm down, I'm trying to help you." The smirk on his face made what he said unbelievable. He raised his hands. Close his switchblade and dropped it to the floor. "There, see? Just trying to help." I pulled out another cigarette but kept in mind there was a trashcan I could throw at him behind me. "I don't need your help." I turned around and walked away. I had to get out of here or else I was going to beat the shit out of him. Yes I cared. Life was so much harder now that I cared. The flea followed. He wouldn't stop pestering me! "Come on, Shizu-chan! The sooner you tell me the faster we can get this over and done with." I ignored him and kept walking, maybe he'd give up after a while.

I had forgot who I was dealing with. The flea wouldn't leave me alone! "Neh Shizu-chan neh, neh, neh. Come on! Ill do anything!" I almost chuckled he was as frustrated as me, if not more so. I let out a breath. I turned around and grinned, trying to scare him off. "Anything?" I said hoping he would back down. Izaya hesitated for a moment. "Yes... As long as it doesn't involve my death, or any harm that would come to me." I sighed again. What the hell did he think I was going to do to him? This was _my_ fear. "Okay then, close your eyes."

"What?"

"What about that sentence did you not understand? Close your eyes." Izaya eyed me carefully, trying to find some ill intention. Finally he closed his eyes. I slowly (very slowly) walked towards him. This was it. I was going to kiss him. I was going to show him how I really feel. I had thought about confessing but I'm not so good with words so I thought I would show him how I felt through actions instead. I was standing in front of him, feeling slightly sick but I knew it was just the nervousness. This was it.

**Sorry for the cliffhanger! I'll try to have the second chapter up tomorrow! Please review ^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2! I hoper it's easier to read!**

**Izaya's p.o.v**

"Okay then, close your eyes." What? Close my eyes? That was unexpected. What was the brute planing? I voiced my confusion. "What?"

"What about that sentence did you not understand? Close your eyes."

I watched him closely but couldn't see anything to tip me off to what he was planning. Eventually I gave in and closed my eyes. He was probably going to throw that vending machine at me. I felt his hand tugging gently on my sleeve. Well that was it. He was going to lift me up and fling me into a building.

Suddenly I felt a pair of lips over mine. For a second I was shocked but I realised Shizuo was just be pulling some cheap trick were he gets me to kiss a dog or something. I opened my eyes, preparing myself to be met with an animal of some sort but instead I faced golden irises. Wait... What? SHIZU-CHAN?! What was happening? He was kissing me? His lips were on mine...? His lips were on mine! It felt amazing. Sure he had not thrown me into the air but I was airborne in a very different way.

Shizuo stopped and stepped back, staring at me intently. Was he waiting for a reaction? What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to feel? No, how _did_ I feel? I went through the last 30min in my head. What lead to this? I was going to help Shizu-chan with his fear and... Oh. That's right. I was helping him with his fear. His fear was kissing me? In that second all my excitement, joy and shock vanished. Disappearing as fast as they had appeared. I felt a little offended. Was I that revolting to him, that kissing me would be his fear? I was offended. No, that's to put it simply, I was furious, annoyed and shattered. How could he toy with my feelings like that?! I wanted to crush him, to pick up my blade and drive it through his beating heart.

I clenched my fists allowing some rage to be released. I was looking at the floor. Now I raised my head, smiled as best as I could and said "I'm glad I could help you with your _fear_ Shizu-chan." I almost spat out the word fear. I walked away, turning my head slightly. "Oh and Shizu-chan, I'd be much obliged if you never showed your face in front of me again." I turned and headed towards Shinjuku, planning to never come back to Ikebukuro again.

It has been three days since then, and I have not left my apartment. I was wrapped in blankets, in my bed. The same place I have been for the past 3 days. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I felt drained like I had no energy, all I wanted to do was sleep. To get away from this cruel world. Was this all because Shizuo had kissed me? I had convinced myself that I was just getting sick, but I was beginning to doubt that. It was because of Shizuo. It was because the brute feared kissing me. I was hurt. I couldn't deny that fact. The question was why? Why did I care that he feared kissing me? It made perfect sense. He hates me. So why was I so angry? I sat up, running my fingers through my hair. I gripped my hair tightly, feeling the pain in my roots. I was not going to let this affect me anymore. I'll get up; take a shower and head down to Ikebukuro, showing the brute exactly how much I didn't care. Feeling motivated, I looked towards the clock, 2.42am. . . . I groaned. Falling back down, my head meeting my pillow with force and went back to sleep. Telling myself that ill do it in the morning.

**Shizuo's p.o.v**

With the 24th person I punched in the last 3 days, Tom pulled me aside. "Shizuo, what's wrong? You've been really impatient and angry these past few days." I lit up a cigarette. I didn't know how to deal with Izaya's reaction. I was ready for violence; I was ready for him to laugh in my face. But instead he gave me that smile, and basically told me he didn't want to see me again. He had not shown himself here for the past 3 days and it was driving me mad.

Was it over? Was he never going to speak to me again? Even if he came to tease me I wouldn't care. I just wanted to see him again. Even if he didn't want things to change, I was fine with that. Anything except avoiding each other for the rest of our lives.

"You can tell me anything, let me help you." I debated telling him. I would like someone else's opinion, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I liked Izaya. I decided to just be ambiguous about it. "Ok, let's say, that you've known someone for years and your relationship with this person is pretty bad, you two basically hate each other. Recently though, you feel like you want be with this person more and more, that you enjoy arguing with them and-" I stopped myself afraid I was giving away too much information. "Anyway, you confess, but they don't react the way you expect, they tell you that they never want to see you again. But that's the last thing you want, you wouldn't even mind if thins go back to the way they used to be, what would you do?"

Tom brought a hand to his chin, thinking. "Just to be clear, we are talking about you and a Izaya... Aren't we?" I could feel blood rushing to my cheeks. "What?! No- I was talking about- about a friend of mine." I stuttered. Tom chuckled. "Uh-huh. Well Shizuo I think that you should go see this friend of yours, ask him how he feels. From what you said Izaya didn't really give you an answer." I blushed harder at the name. "I told you it's not Izaya!" Tom just smiled. "You can have the rest of the day off, so go to Shinjuku and get you answer, and remember I'm here for you if it doesn't go the way you want. Good luck Shizuo." He walked away, leaving me blushing and embarrassed like a teenage girl.

Fine! He wanted me to go to Shinjuku and confess my feelings again, making me embarrass my self all over again and maybe possibly get myself killed. Fine! Ill do it! I shoved my hands into my pockets and made my way to Izaya's apartment thinking about what to say once I got there.

**Izaya's p.o.v**

I had told myself that I would go see Shizuo today, to show him that I didn't give a damn that his one fear was kissing me, but I woke up feeling worse than ever. I realise that this time I was sick. It was probably because of the lifestyle I had for the past few days.

Tissues scattered all over my bed and a bottle of pills along with a glass, which was previously filled with water, where on my bedside table. Ugh I absolutely hated my life right now. I heard the bell ring. Must be the pizza I ordered. I had no energy to make something for myself, so for the first time in a long time I had ordered pizza. Getting up was hard; the loss of my blanket left me cold and shivering. I grabbed my blanket and placed It over my shoulders, wrapping it around myself. The person rang the bell again; the sound gave me a headache and put me in a bad mood. I opened the door and standing there was Shizuo. I mentally groaned. I did not need this right now.

"What?" I said coldly. His shoulders slumped a little. He looked me over. "What happened to you?" I felt nauseous; I had been standing for too long. I walked over to the couch and laid down. "I'm sick. Now, as you can see, I'm in no state to endure your stupidity, so if you could just make your way out and close the door behind you, that would make me extremely happy." I didn't even have the energy to be angry; I just wanted him out of here. I closed my eyes, soon I heard the door close. Sighing in relief, i allowed myself to relax and hoped I could fall asleep soon.

Then I heard footsteps. Shizuo was still here! Opening my eyes, I saw Shizuo sitting on my coffee table staring at me intently. "I thought I told you to leave."

"You look like hell." He ignored me, the bastard. "Thanks." Why was he still here? Why wouldn't he leave me alone? I could feel my head pounding. I groaned. Dragging the blankets up to my nose. "Have you seen Shinra?" Was this what he was going to do? Just sit here and ask me questions? "No." I answered, turning around to face the back of couch. "Why not!?" The raise in his voice made me bring my hands up to my ears. "Stop yelling." I hissed. "Sorry." He mumbled. I sighed and turned so I was facing him. "It's just a normal flu, it will pass. I don't need to see Shinra. Now if you excuse me I'd really like to go to sleep." Shizuo nodded, but he didnt move. He just sat there staring at me. Damn it! How was I supposed to sleep while he was watching me?!

I opened my eyes. "Shizu-chan."

"Hmm?"

"Are you just going to sit there?"

"Yea."

Yea, he says. I sit up, the brute followed me with his eyes. "I know you would just love to rip my head off but if you could stop staring at me it would be much appreciated." I stood up. "I'm going to my room." Hopefully the brute would leave sooner or later. I still had no idea why he was here in the first place. I took a step, dizziness overcame me and I fell back on to the couch. "Never mind" i mumbled." I brought my palm to my forehead. This sucked. I could hardly move. Shizuo could kill me any second. That was probably why he was here in the first place. He must have found something out and immediately found me responsible. There was a good chance that he was right, not that id ever admit it.

"Izaya, do you still hate me?" What was this brute asking. Did he want to make sure that I'd never kiss him again? Was he afraid that I would fall for him? He never wants to kiss me again, because It was just that much of a revolting thought to him. How dare he?! Me? Fall for him?! I wanted to answer "of course I do." As coldly as possible, but I knew if I did that he would be satisfied and leave. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. My head was reeling. How should I reply? I hated not being able to come up with an answer. It was all because of this stupid brute! I closed my eyes and acted like I didn't hear him. Very mature right?

I could hear shuffling and footsteps. Yes, yes, please leave! I heard a door opening, however, the sound came from where my bedroom is, I opened my eyes to see Shizuo coming out of my bedroom, he had the glass and some pills in his hand, I watched as he walked into the kitchen, filling the glass with water and coming back to sit in front of me. He handed me the glass of water and the pill. I eyed the pill wearily, I've always hated pills, I took the water from his hand.

"I just had a pill." I lied, then swallowed the water. I placed the glass on the table, Shizuo never stopped staring. "What?!" I snapped. "I know you hate pills Izaya, I've seen Shinra have to force them down your throat plenty of times." Damn it. "Plus, the bottle is unopened." Damn it. "Also-" "okay I get it! You're not as dumb as you look, is that your point." I smirked, simply for the motion of it, I wasn't feeling humorous at all. He growled, I flinched, pushing my eyes shut, expecting him to punch me. A few seconds passed and nothing happened, I opened my eyes to see a very tense Shizuo who was visibly struggling to keep control of himself, maybe he didn't like punching a defenseless person.

"Izaya take the pill, it'll make you feel better." I groaned as a response. "Well at least let me call Shinra!" He yelled again, I brought my hands up to my ears as his voice pierced through my head and glared at him. "Sorry." He said. "No Shinra. I told you it's just a normal flu." I felt the contents of my stomach travelling up my throat and rushed to the bathroom, leaning over the sink as I let all the food I had digested out of the wrong end.

After I had practically emptied my stomach, I washed my face and collapsed onto the floor, leaning against the bathtub, with my eyes closed. I opened them to be greeted with golden irises. "Just a normal flu huh?" I groaned again, lying down on the bathroom floor. "You're still here." I stated more then asked. My cheek met with the cold hard floor. "What are you doing?" Shizuo asked. "Trying to sleep."

"In the bathroom?!"

I felt a familiar sensation traveling through my body as I sat up and turned my head, throwing up into the bathtub, I turned the water on to wash out the mess, then turned to Shizuo and gave him a tired smile. "As you can see it's more convenient." He frowned. "That's it I'm calling Shinra."

"What?! No!" I jumped up as Shizuo flipped open his phone, the sudden movement made me dizzy, I swayed then fell forward. Shizuo grabbed me before I collided with the floor. Once I got my bearings, I rushed over to the sink, throwing up once again, this time, however, nothing came out, it was a mere reflex.

I once again collapsed onto the floor, and watched as Shizuo finished his conversation with Shinra. "Shinra will be here soon." Ugh, Shinra was always so cheerful, I really couldn't deal with him today, and he'd force me to take the pills, just thinking about it made me feel exhausted. "You suck." I was in no mood or state of mind to think of a proper insult. Shizuo chuckled. Oh yea, it must be hilarious to watch as your worst enemy was rendered useless by a mere flu. Ok, maybe it wasn't a "mere flu" but it was a sickness nonetheless and I was angry that my body allowed a virus through, as stupid as that sounded. I once again laid my head on the floor, I felt really sleepy and tired. This flu was taking a lot out of me. My eyes pushed themselves shut. The cold floor felt nice against my hot, sweating skin.

**I hope you liked it! Please review! thank you so much for the tips!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Shizuo's p.o.v**

"You suck." I laughed. I couldn't help it. He was sitting on the bathroom floor, pouting and crossing his arms, he looked and acted like a child. I watched as he once again laid his head down onto the bathroom floor, he looked pale and drained, like he had no energy at all, before I knew it be was sound asleep. I sighed. I kneeled down and nudged the sleeping raven. "Izaya." He half opened his eyes. I turned around to show him to get on my back. He sat up and wrapped his arms around my neck, I was expecting him to fight me, but I guess he didn't have the energy for it. I grabbed his legs and lifted him up. He was so light. I could feel his breath on my neck, I loved the way his arms wrapped around my neck and the way his chin rested on my shoulder. As I made my way to his bedroom, I could feel Izaya lift his head off my shoulder then nuzzle it back into my neck while letting out a small "thank you, Shizu-chan." I smiled; I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. It felt beyond amazing to help the flea, back with the dentist and now, it was the best feeling in the world when he hugged me, when I was the one to make him smile and be genuinely happy.

I set him down on his bed and went back into the living room to grab his blanket. Placing the blanket over him, I smiled. He was so adorable when he slept, he looked so peaceful. His eyebrows narrowed and he started coughing, his peaceful face now filled with pain, he half opened his eyes, taking a look at me, he groaned and pushed his face into his pillow. "If you're here to kill me, could you please get it over and done with. Must you watch me suffer first?" The doorbell rang, I went to answer the door, leaving Izaya groaning an coughing. Shinra and a pizza guy were there. "Hey Shinra, he's in his room." Shinra nodded and headed towards Izaya room, I paid for the pizza Izaya ordered, placing it on the counter as I followed behind Shinra. "No!" I heard Izaya yell, I ran into his room. Shinra was on top of Izaya trying to hold him down and feed him the pill. Shinra turned to look at me "Shizuo give me a hand!" I held izaya's legs down, Izaya strained and twisted, pushing us off with all his effort, soon he was exhausted and all resistance stopped. Shinra pushed the pill into his mouth, then spilled half a cup of water before holding izaya's nose shut. Izaya swallowed. "There, you should feel better in about 30 minutes." Shinra smiled. "I hate you." Izaya grumbled. Shinra laughed.

He turned to me and led me outside the room. "I wish I could stay but I've got an appointment soon, are you going to keep an eye on him?" I nodded. "Wait, wait, wait. Aren't you curious as to why I'm here? And why would you trust me to keep an eye on him?" Shinra rolled his eyes. "Shizuo I've known you since we were kids, if Tom could figure it out, then it's obvious I would too." Damn it, who didn't know about my crush on Izaya. I could feel my cheeks burning. Shinra chuckled once again. I followed him out the door, closing it shut behind him.

Izaya walked out of his room, blanket once again wrapped around himself, he looked surprised when he saw me and glared. " Why are you still here?" He asked angrily. "Shinra asked me to take care of you."

"Oh how _lucky_ of me." He seethed. He lied on the couch and turned the TV on. I sat in one of the chairs glancing over at him. He looked better. He wasn't as pale as before.

Izaya kept glaring at me. Wow, he was really pissed, was he really that angry that I kissed him? After a while I could see him nodding off. He was pushing himself to stay awake, but before long his eyes were closed and his frustrated face transformed into a peaceful one. Sighing I went over to him and picked him up. He would kill me if I let him sleep here. 'You were supposed to take care of me and you just let me sleep on the couch? You're really useless aren't you Shizu-chan?' I chuckled at my own imagination. I could imagine Izaya's voice, his tone and his expressions perfectly. I leaned down, picked him up and walked into his room setting him on the bed.

**Izaya's p.o.v**

I awoke, realising I was no longer on the couch. I was in my room. Shizu-chan must have moved me here. I flipped open my phone, the brightness temporarily blinding me. Ugh 2.00am I only got 3 hours of sleep. I stalked into the living room to find Shizu-chan sleeping on the couch. I can't believe he's still here. I had mixed feelings towards him. I was happy when he tried to help me, staying here, looking after me... But then I remembered why he was here. Not that I knew exactly, but I'm pretty sure he wanted to blame me for something. I sighed; once again this brute had me in an internal struggle.

I realise I still hadn't gotten my revenge for him bringing Shinra here. Smirking, I walked over to the kitchen. Picked up two metal pans and went to stand in front of Shizu-chan. I held a pan in each hand and with a great amount of force I smashed them together. The ringing of metal filled the room and Shizuo sat up in fright looking around frantically. I almost laughed at his bed hair but kept my composure. Once he gathered his senses he turned to me.

"What the hell was that for?!" He growled. "_That_, was for calling a certain doctor." Shizuo anger faded and he bowed his head guilt. "Well what was I suppose to do?! You were being stubborn and you were obviously in pain!"

"Hah! That's new. Since when have you cared whether I was in pain or not." Of course I knew it was just Shizuo's gentle nature that had taken over him. Although he's the incarnation of violence he also hates it. He is kind at heart; it's just extremely difficult to see since his violent nature is so much more flamboyant.

"_I don't care_. You just looked _so_ pathetic lying on the barroom floor. I couldn't help but feel sorry for you. You couldn't even get back to your bed by yourself! How pathetic!" That sting a little. So much for his gentle nature, but what more could I expect, he hates me. He hates me. Why do those words bring so much pain now? No, It wasn't pain; it was more of an uncomfortable feeling. It just kept bothering me, even when I wasn't thinking about it. Like when you buy something new and accidentally ruin it on the first day. That annoyed, frustrated feeling that stays with you. But I've known that he's hated me for years. Maybe it's affecting me now because I realise he finds me revolting.

His one fear was getting a kiss from me. I spent days obsessing over that fact. I was angry with him but I continued rationalising that he had every reason to feel that way. In this situation it was actually more surprising that I didn't feel the same. Why didn't I feel the same way? I remembered that kiss so vividly, the way my heart and head started pounding when I realised it was Shizuo's lips on mine, the excitement that filled me, the rush of happiness, the love- ... Ah. So that was it. I had fallen for him, just as he had feared.

I had obviously overworked myself as my vision began to blur. I started swaying and tried grab onto something but before I could I stumbled to the floor. Shizuo was immediately beside me. "Izaya! Are you ok?" He had a hand on my back. I pushed him away. "Don't touch me!" I was afraid. I was afraid of falling more and more in love with him. It was these moments that caused it. When he acted like he cared, when he helped me, it made me think that maybe there was a chance that maybe he _did_ care for me.

The fear I felt when going to the dentist, that's how he felt when kissing me? If that were true, then there is no way that he would even consider a relationship with me. Heh, who am I kidding? We're not even friends let alone lovers. I needed him out. I couldn't take this anymore, I felt like someone had driven a jagged blade into my heart and started twisting it. I had to end this. "Shizuo why are you here?"

"I told you, shinra-"

"No. Why didn you come yesterday, you wanted to tell me something right? We'll go ahead tell me." He started fidgeting. "I don't think now is a good time."

"Tell. Me." I was panting I still felt dizzy and had the urge to throw up but I pushed it down. I needed this done. I needed him to show me that he loathes me. I needed him to remove all the doubt from my mind. He took a breath; I prepared myself for the moment. I could feel my heart beating faster, nervousness filled me. Come on Shizuo please. End it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi! So this is the last chapter! Enjoy~**

**Shizuo's p.o.v**

"Tell. Me." He clenched his fists. Izaya was on all fours on the floor. He wouldn't face me. "At least take a seat." He merely shook his head. What was wrong with him? It was my fault, wasn't it? I shouldn't have kissed him. What was I thinking? "I'm sorry." I repeated. He tensed again and I could see tears falling onto the floor. I've put him through so much. Why did I have to kiss him? Show him I love him? I ruined his life. Seeing him in so much pain made me want to take it all back.

But why was he in pain? The way he was acting... Was it because he felt bad that he had to reject me? ...It seemed out of character. He was the one person who understood my loneliness. But he couldn't return my feelings... Was that it? He understood how isolated I felt and it pained him to not be able to return my feelings. I sighed. It didn't make sense, but he wanted me to tell him why I am here so I was going to tell him. "I'm sorry." I repeated. "But I can't change how I feel about you."

**Izayas p.o.v**

"But I can't change how I feel about you." There it was. My closure. He still hates me and that's never going to change. I had to accept it... But I couldn't. My tears kept falling; my heart felt like it was being crushed. Keep it together! I clenched my fists, resisting the urge to bang them into the floor. I tried to open my mouth, to reply with a quick "Ok. I understand," but my lips were trembling.

My mind went through ways I could change his mind. Maybe I could tell him that I would change. Maybe I can apologise for everything I have done and maybe he'll forgive me, maybe he'll be willing to... hahahaha, who was I fooling. I've made his life hell, taunted him, angered him, and frustrated him. I've done nothing but cause him trouble and I never thought that I would regret it so much. I willed my tears to stop falling but they refused and continued their descent onto my carpet, soaking into the black material.

Shizuo took a deep breath and continued. "I love you." I froze. What? Did I hear that right? I looked up at him. "Wh-what?"

"I love you." He repeated. I was so confused. Had I finally lost it? Yes. That must be it. I was hearing what I wanted to hear. I buried my face into my hand, chuckling. _The_ Orihara Izaya, so desperate for love he lost his sanity in order to hear three simple words from the monster he claimed to hate. I couldn't help but laugh. And yet, I felt the need to confirm whether what he said was my imagination or not. "Let me get this right, make sure I haven't lost my mind. _You love me_?" Shizuo nodded, adding a quick "yes" to emphasis his answer. That was _not_ my imagination. He _answered_ _yes_, he _nodded_ his _head_… but that didn't make sense.

"I don't understand." I stated confused. I was rarely ever confused and _never_ to this extent. I was lost; the situation seemed foreign to me. The more I tried to understand the more puzzled I became. I felt like I was missing a piece of information, a piece of the puzzle.

Shizuo kneeled in front of me. He looked into my eyes with urgency and sincerity. **"**Izaya, I'm sorry I kissed you. I had no right to and I should've known better, but if we can just try, try to be together I'd be so happy. We can take it slow, so _please_."

_Tr- tr- try to be together?! _What? How? _What?!_ So he is in love with me… He is in love with me! But what about his fear? "How would that work?" I questioned. How can you be in love with me and at the same time fear being with me?

"How would what work?" This brute can't be that imprudent. Had it never occurred to him that being in love with someone meant being with that person physically? "Shizu-chan, you understand that being together would mean doing _intimate_ things together. How would that work with your fear of kissing me?" Shizuo looked confused.

"Izaya, I don't have a fear of kissing you…" He didn't? Then what was that kiss in front of the dentist?

….

Suddenly all the pieces came together. He _was_ afraid of kissing me! But not for the reason I thought. He was afraid to show me that he loves me. How could I be so _stupid_?! What the hell was wrong with me!? I could see Shizuo had come to the same relisation as he looked at me with slight mock and amusement. "You thought that my fear was _kissing_ you?" When I replied with silence he erupted in laughter. I could feel my cheeks burning.

"Izaya I don't fear kissing you, I was afraid to show you how I felt about you, to show you I love you." Shizuo confirmed my theory. "It was all just a big misunderstanding." I whispered. "It was all a misunderstanding." Shizuo confirmed.

"I love you, Izaya." Shizuo said once again. Hearing those words again without the confusion that followed made me beam with joy. I leaped into his arms, Shizuo gladly accepting me. "I love you too Shizu-chan." I declared as I leaned back to look at him, my arms now wrapped around his neck. We were only inches apart. Slowly Shizuo brought his lips to mine. I pushed my mouth against his, my cold lips meeting his warm ones. My hand travelled through his soft bleached hair as our lips continued to move against each other. Shizuo wrapped his arms around my waist, pushing me closer to him.

I broke the kiss and looked lovingly into his eyes. He returned the look. I grinned once I knew his defenses were down and smacked him over the head. "Ow!" He complained, rubbing his head. "What was that for?!"

"This is all your fault, you stupid brute! Why can't you be more clear?! I spent days frustrated because I thought you found me disgusting!""

Shizuo looked at me, a cheeky smile displayed on his face. He crawled towards me. "Is that right? Well I'm _so sorry_ about that." He leaned forward, whispering into my ear. "I promise to make it up to you tonight." His voice was soft and sexy. It made me blush. I never knew Shizuo had this side to him.

Shizuo started kissing along my jaw, leaving a warm trail across my skin. Shizuo's lips moved over mine, kissing me softly. He gently pushed me onto my back, lying over me. The kiss became more passionate as he pushed his tongue into my mouth and I his. I turned to the side gasping for air. Shizuo approached my lips once again. "Wait Shizu-chan, I'm sick." He pushed his lips onto mine.

"I don't care." His voice vibrated against my lips, which made me moan. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, playing with mine. His hands were moving all over my body. The warmth of his hands made me shiver whenever they met a new part of my body. Shizuo's hands travelled under my shirt towards my back. He wrapped his arms around my back and lifted me into him. Our bodies pushed together. He never stopped kissing me.

Shizuo grinded our bodies together. His tongue continued exploring my mouth. Finally he pulled away. I took a large breath; Shizuo continued to kiss down my neck and my collarbone. "Shizu-chan, let's go to my room." His hand travelled down the side of my leg, he pulled it upward and towards his back. Realising what he wanted, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He then pushed his arms under my shoulders and stood, lifting me up with him. I wrapped my arms around his neck for greater stability.

Shizu-chan walked towards my bedroom. Once we got to my bed, he dropped me onto the silky covers. I looked up at him. The golden irises stared right back at me. He was kneeling above me, his knees on either side of my waist. He pulled his shirt off. I stared longingly at his well-built body. "Wait, the light. Close the light." Shizuo ignored me. Leaning down and kissing me again. "Oh hell no, I want to see _every thing~"_ I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. "I never realised you were such a perv." I tried to sound insulting but I, instead, sounded embarrassed and I was. I didn't want Shizuo to see my body. I wasn't as well built as him. I was healthy sure, but had no muscle.

Before I could resist Shizuo pulled my shirt off. He stared at me. I knew it, he was disappointed. "You're beautiful."

"Wh-what?"

"You're beautiful." He repeated as he leaned into me. My chest against his.

He was always so warm, it could be snowing outside and he would be radiating heat. Shizuo brought his lips to mine, pushing his tounge into my mouth. He grinded against me, I moaned as I felt his crotch against mine. I could feel Shizuo's smirk on my lips. "You're so cute." This brute was really pissing me off. I decided to take charge and thrust my hips into his, he gasped, a glaze of pleasure crossed over his face. I smirked at him. "Oh you want to play this game." Shizuo kissed me, more passionately than ever before. I was so involved in the kiss I didn't realise his hand was travelling down my chest, onto the crotch of my pants. He palmed my member through my pants. I gasped at the contact. "Sh-Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo began undoing the button to my pants, then pulling the zip down. In one smooth movement he had both my pants and boxers off. Instinctively I tried to cover myself. Shizuo grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. "Aa aa aaa." I blushed and turned my head, as he looked my body over.

I knew there was no point fighting him. He was much stronger. I bit my lips out of nervousness. "Izaya." I didn't reply. "Don't do that." He pushed his tongue against my lips pushing my teeth away. "Someone with lips as stunning as yours shouldn't tear then away like that." I turned to finally look at him. I could see the sincerity in his eyes, the loving and warm look that I knew I was returning and slowly removed my teeth from my lips as my nervousness disappeared.

"So I assume you have lube here." The blush returned to my face. "Wh- why would I have that here?!" Shizuo reached over to my bedside draw, he pulled the first draw open and found the lube that I kept there and gave me another smirk. He was really starting to get on my nerves. He pulled his pants off, followed by his boxers. His body was defined and flawless.

He squirted the lube on his fingers. He traced his fingers outside my entrance and slowly worked one finger inside. I tensed at the pain. He kept pushing and before long he had two fingers inside, scissoring my insides.

"Shizu-chan!" I screamed desperately. He pulled his fingers out and squirted more lube on his hand. This time, rubbing it over his cock. He grinded into me again, our bodies pressed together, the way they should be.

"Are you ready?" I nodded. He pushed into me. His cock entering me in one quick push. "Ahhh." I monaned. Shizuo panted. Slowly he thrust into me. We both moaned once he was completely inside me. He thrusted into me over and over.

He kissed my lips, my neck and my collarbone. We were both overwhelmed with pleasure, moans overtook us as our rhythm increased and orgasm approached. My member was trapped between our bodies, the friction was too much for me to handle. I moaned as his thrusting increased in power and speed. He moved his hand down to my cock, assisting my ejaculation. I let out a loud moan as I shot. Shot after shot after shot. Shizuo moaned and joined me in orgasm, shooting inside me. He pulled out and collapsed beside me. We were both panting heavily. Our bodies heaving with exhaustion.

Shizuo turned to me. "I love you, Izaya."

"I love you too." I said before I fell asleep wrapped in Shizuo's arms, my head against his warm chest.

I awoke in my bed fully dressed, not as I had fallen asleep. I sat up, a headache immediately filling my head. I wish this flu would just pass already. I got up, washed my face and brushed my teeth.

I wondered where Shizu-chan was. I smelt the faint aroma of eggs. Walking towards the kitchen I saw the strongest person of Ikebukuro in an apron, cooking eggs. I chuckled. Shizuo turned at the sound. "You're awake!" He said enthusiastically giving me a bright smile. What the hell?! He wasn't sick?! We were together _all_ night, how could he have not caught my cold?! Why did I have to continue suffering while he could go through the day headache free?!

"Hell no." Sadness filled his face. "What's wrong?" He asked. "How are you not sick?!" I demanded. "We cuddled all night!" I knew I was being childish and I blamed it on the headache.

Once I voiced my problem happiness filled his face again. "Haha my body is just really strong I guess. How are you feeling?"

"Hmmm."

"What?" He questioned.

"I guess it's true what they say. Idiots don't catch colds." I gave the smirk I always make after insulting him. He rolled his eyes, but gave me a small smile that I knew meant that he had decided to humor me.

He snapped the ladle he was holding in his hand. "IZAAAYAAAA!" He pounced on me jokingly. We both started laughing as we gently wrestled. "Okay I give, I give!" I claimed as his body weight trapped me under him. He chuckled, gave me a kiss on the cheek and helped me up.

"Come on, I made breakfast. We're going to get you healthy today!"

"I like the sound of that~" I replied. I was content. I never knew that I could be so happy. I looked at Shizuo. This is where I always wanted to be, with him. Always standing by his side. "Don't ever leave me Shizu-chan."

"Are you kidding me? That's never going to happen."

"And why is that?" I questioned, genuinely curious.

"Because being apart from you is my greatest fear." I smiled. Looks like we share the same fear Shizu-chan.

**My first smut scene ever! I hope it was ok. Please review! I really want to hear what you think! I'm working on 2 other Shizaya stories so any advice or productive criticism would be really great! Thanks for reading!**


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